“The Healer you have been looking for is your own courage to know and love yourself completely.” Yung Pueblo
I have a passion for growth and transformation even if my life journey hasn’t always been flowing and easy. Since childhood like many of us, I was faced with family challenges, a huge feeling of insecurity and low self-esteem. So, I grew up as a disconnected and angry person driven by negativity, self-victimisation and self-sabotage. I didn’t know at that time that I was just surviving, not living.
I was already living in Australia when my son was born and when he was 2 yo, I was diagnosed with post-natal depression. I was feeling very homesick and lost and I was convinced that my unhappiness was due to my homesickness, until I realised many years later that the only home I was missing was mine.
Following the diagnosis, I was given an anti-depressant to “fix” me but the only thing the treatment was doing was numbing me in the inside, making me feel even more lost and more disconnected. So, with my husband at the time, we sold all our possessions and moved back to France with our 2 children where we lived for nearly 4 years.
When we arrived in France, I put my pills to the bin with a strong sense of relief and straight after I was introduced to a Kinesiologist who later became my friend. Of course, I had no idea of what Kinesiology was at the time but I was completely trusting the process and quickly got taken away by the power of it and how fast I was moving forward. A new world of hope was opening up and from that day, there was no return back.
This is how I embarked on my healing journey. When we came back to Australia 4 years later, I knew I found my path and I started studying Kinesiology. I was very excited with the idea of helping people the same way it helped me and I was ready to give all of that goodness back.
I knew what my life purpose was: helping others to find themselves, grow, be empowered and achieve the life they truly deserve.
Kinesiology helped me to re-connect within, accept my past, make peace with it and embrace my personal story. Once I understood the origin of my emotional pain, my spiritual journey really began.
What is Love?
Love is the source of all life. Love is the central story of our bodies. Love surpasses everything. To love is to live.
Your heart space is a refuge, a sanctuary, a sacred treasure. It is your very own and unique heritage. It is where your Divine light shines, and like any other treasure, it is precious and needs to be nurtured. It is what brings light into your life and what makes you remember who you are. It shows us how to balance inner strength and inner gentleness, as they are equally important.
Your heart space should matter enough that you are willing to devote yourself to it, make it as a priority, even if it requires conviction, vulnerability, bravery, humility and courage.
It is from this sanctuary that we tune in and listen to the whisper of our soul and from where we can manifest our inner purpose, away from the ego.
Your heart space is an energy centre, called a Chakra. A Chakra is a Sanskrit word that translates as a “spinning disc” or a “wheel”. Our chakra system carries our life force and is surrounded by our Aura.
Life force is the non-physical vitality that gives life to all living things. This energy flow has been identified by many different cultures as Chi, Ki, Prana, grace, white light, spirit and quantum field. They understand and recognise the importance of this energy and how it impacts our lives and well-being.
The main role of the heart Chakra is to help us develop self-acceptance, self-love, balanced relationships, intimacy, compassion, love and the right to love openly and be loved. It governs the physical heart and the lungs.
Your heart space goes through changes, positive and negative, also called energy shifts. If your heart is opening up, you will fall in love. If your heart is closing down, love will stop flowing. If your heart is hurting, you will get angry and it will feel empty.
From a Kinesiologist point of view, we hold emotions in our muscles and because the heart has been classified as one of them, this sacred space should be the centre of our attention even more.
When we tune into our Divine light that has always been there but somehow got lost or forgotten, we are able to express the qualities of forgiveness, tolerance, compassion, joy, creativity, generosity, abundance, respect and peace.
Tuning into the love vibration will free you from pain and suffering and will lift you to a higher state of consciousness. Your energy will resonate at a higher vibration and it will give you a far greater perspective on your life.
Why is self-love so important?
According to Tony Robbins, the fundamental purpose of human nature is to love and to be loved. This is why love/connection has been classified as one of our 6 basic human needs. It’s not just a want, it’s a profound need which serves as the basis of every choice we make.
Whilst this profound human need is present in all of us, the majority of us struggles to make sense of it and tune into it, leaving us with a feeling of disconnection and rejection which I call the state of disempowerment.
This state of disconnection or lack of self-love influences how you view yourself and your relationships with others. It even impacts every decision you make, therefore how you create your reality now and in the future.
When I was trapped with my post-natal depression, I was dealing with so many mixed emotions that I felt overwhelmed no matter what the feeling was. Anger was always my “go to” emotion. It made me feel alive… I could feel something… I had things to say and complain about! What I didn’t realise at that time is that emotion was toxic and instead of making me “feel” in the true sense of feeling, it was covering the deep wounds from my childhood and disconnecting me from my true essence. As a result, I was constantly rejecting myself and others around me.
There are many reasons why people feel disconnected or rejected.
We all carry wounds and a lot of them have been passed down from our Ancestors from generation to generation. So, if your parents never explored the idea to heal their wounds, more than likely, you inherited some of them as early as the womb stage, as a cellular memory.
As a baby we are born with pure love, joy and wonder. We are not born doubting or judging ourselves, judging others, or with shame, guilt, anxiety or depression. We learnt it as we grew up from our parents, society or any form of authority and this is how your unconscious mind started to create your belief system. Combined with your inherited wounds, the script of your personal story was created.
Maybe, when you were little, your mother had low self-esteem or high expectations about yourself and maybe she was never giving you any affection, encouragement or compliment.
Maybe your father was never home and when he was, he was still absent or putting you down.
Maybe one of your parents used to compare you to one of your siblings, so you never learnt to see your own worth.
Maybe your parents were always arguing and fighting, so your definition of love was compromised at a start.
As we grow up and mature, we wonder why we have the same unstoppable problems such as:
Addictions, weight issues, lack of energy and motivation, fear of commitment, fear of the unknown, poor boundaries, fear of rejection or abandonment following us around.
A lot of the time, these issues turn into self-sabotage. We can even sabotage every aspect of ourselves and our life, resigned to the fact that we will never be good enough to become who we want to be.
Our conscious mind takes full responsibility and assumes it’s our own fault. We are not good enough, smart enough, not worth it, we just can’t change it. This is how life is and will always be.
Meanwhile, our unconscious mind is still simmering the deep root issues of rejection, dismissing what is going on up at surface level.
Tuning into the love vibration becomes a necessity, the only way to get out of this destructive spiral.
How do we cultivate self-love?
Awareness is the first step to any change as you can’t change what you don’t understand.
Self-love starts with self-acceptance.
Self-acceptance is overcoming how you’ve been programmed in childhood. It means being aware of both your positive and negative traits without attaching negative emotions or judgment on who you are.
Self-acceptance means being able to be objective about your strengths and weaknesses and not compromise on your self-worth.
It means understanding that your value is separate from your actions or qualities. Despite having made mistakes and flaws, these things don’t define you.
Self-acceptance is stopping searching outside of yourself what you already have within.
It is embracing your own story: where you come from, your family history, the positive and negative. It’s accepting your inheritance as a complete part of who you are and learn to make peace with it.
In summary, self-acceptance does not depend on your external circumstances, nor your success or achievements. It is being able to accept the good and bad about yourself.
When you practice radical and unconditional self-acceptance, you can begin to embrace your authentic self and love yourself.
Only love can be the master of your heart, simultaneously empowering and protective. It’s the gateway to wisdom and personal freedom.
It is time to feed ourself from this high energy that is love, to start thriving instead of surviving. It is time to nurture the s
acred space of our heart, our sanctuary. It is time to heal our wounds and as we do, we will heal Mother Earth and those around us.
Albert Einstein, in one of his letters to his daughter said: « We all have a tiny but powerful love generator within us. It’s just waiting for us. We need to learn to give and receive this universal energy as it can conquer and transform everything. »
WELLNESS TIPS
Be thankful: Each day, for five minutes, practice gratitude about: your personal life, yourself, your work. Write 3 things you’re grateful for, for each of them.
Support Yourself: Each day, do one thing that YOU love, to re-ignite joy.
Choose Freedom and empowerment: When feeling trapped with a situation or an emotion, remove yourself from victim consciousness with this mantra: I ALWAYS have a choice.
Journal: You aren’t your thoughts. This is a powerful exercise you can do anytime, anywhere. If you don’t have a pen and paper, use your phone and write down how you’re feeling, unfiltered. Don’t judge it, welcome it and let it go.
Ground yourself: Connect with nature, walk barefoot on grass, listen to the wind, look at the clouds, hold a tree, smell a flower. If you can’t do all of this in nature, use a pure essential oil as they carry the vibration of our Mother earth.
Breathe: Every breath you take is sacred… slow down. Take 5 minute on your own, away from noise, phone or computer and do some deep breathing in and out until you feel grounded.
Forgive: Every mistake you make is a gift and every time you learn from a relationship is blessed. Close your eyes, think about the person you want to forgive, it can even be yourself and tell her “I forgive you, please forgive me.”